Some regular attendees at the Lawson men’s group: Dan, Lee, Kris, Huw and Damien.
Story and photos by Belle Butler
When Dan Gaffney found out he was having a son, it prompted action to break a cycle of inter-generational disconnection. What began as a personal commitment to self-work has since grown into a powerful communal practice helping men become more emotionally literate, accountable, conscious and connected.
Key Points:
The Lawson men’s circle fills a void where once male initiation and elder-mentorship might have been, helping men with self awareness and self growth.
At the Lawson men’s circle, men develop their emotional literacy and accountability, helping them become more conscious and responsible in their relationships and in their community.
Caring for others begins with caring for oneself. The hard inner work done by participants at the Lawson men’s circle has positive ripple effects in all areas of their lives.
At 9:15 on a Thursday night in Lawson, a men’s circle wraps up after two and a half hours of talking and listening. The room carries a sense of healthy exhaustion – almost as if these men have just completed a good day’s work in the garden or a challenging bush walk. Some men appear spent, but in a relaxed, relieved way. There is also a quiet closeness among them, the kind that comes from shared effort.
It’s not surprising. The mind and body respond to mental/emotional and physical hard work in similar ways – reducing the stress hormone cortisol and boosting dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin – promoting stress recovery and physiological well-being.
However, the positive effects of the men’s circle extend far beyond these brain boosting benefits – as Dan Gaffney, who runs the group, and its members know firsthand. “At a local level, it’s about teaching men to become more emotionally-literate and available,” says Dan. “Men who are safer because they are more accountable for their words and actions, so that they can become more conscious in all areas of their lives.”
Dan has facilitated men’s circles for twenty years and has hosted the Lawson men’s circle in his living room for the past five. His involvement in this space began with a personal commitment to self-work and a desire to break the cycle of “inter-generational unfinished business” upon the arrival of his son. After attending a father’s group, he participated in a men’s rite-of passage-weekend run by The ManKind Project, eventually training with them to host regular men’s circles himself.
His ongoing work in this area blends his background in psychotherapy and his longstanding interest in positive change. “My mission is to nourish myself so that I can better nourish the land and people in my community,” says Dan.
Dan Gaffney, host of the Lawson men’s circle.
Dan sees the core need for men’s circles as rooted in the absence of male initiation in our culture and the ripple effects this has had on male individuals and whole communities. “Boys start to become ungovernable at a certain age. This is why initiation exists – to teach them responsibilities and privileges of being young men,” he says.
“We have lost that in our culture. You can see it in the headlines; you can see it in the health stats – men disrespecting women and men disrespecting themselves. We need to be socialised by our fathers, uncles, grandfathers, our elders, but today, regrettably, our uncles and elders are missing in action.”
In the absence of initiation, the Lawson men’s circle offers a “safe place to have safe emergencies”. Each men’s circle comprises of four rounds of focused talking and listening, providing a structured framework for emotional check-ins, ownership of words and actions (accountability), deeper self-reflection, and finally, honouring and recognition of each other’s contribution.
At the end of each gathering, Dan sees a group of men with “more bandwidth to deal with the difficulties of life – safer partners, safer fathers, safer colleagues and safer friends.”
Lawson men’s circle meets weekly on a Thursday night. Image supplied.
Two participants of the Lawson men’s circle speak to the personal and far-reaching impact it has had on them:
Kris:
“Circle offers a real shortcut to meaningful connection.
“I think there’s a real crisis in connection generally in our culture, particularly with men. It’s hard to find a framework where you can have profound connection with people without having to spend ten years getting there. But at circle there’s deep and meaningful connection with good men on offer once a week.
Lawson Mens Circle participant Kris (image supplied)
“Broadly, I see it as a real antidote to a lot of social dysfunctions. Issues like substance abuse, domestic violence, and suicidal inclination struggle to hold their grip when this kind of thing is available. It’s a real way for men to be better in every domain.
“Personally, as a single parent, it can be hard to find a place where I can safely be held accountable for the decisions and agreements I make in my life. Living alone, I don’t really have many checks and balances. At circle, I can look at my own congruence – whether my thoughts and deeds are aligned – and safely address personal issues. It’s my primary mechanism of self-awareness and a commitment to living well.
“The structure that we use enables us to do this in a safe, meaningful, productive and connected way. We can talk about our shortcomings without fear of judgement, exposure or weaponisation. Having that space to do those things – this is self-awareness and personal growth on steroids.
“And it’s demanding. It requires me to live a certain way, or I’d be turning up and lying every week. Coming in and not telling the truth is not just pointless but also disrespectful. So, turning up every week requires accountability.
“The spin-off is far reaching. The women in my world are staunch, card-carrying feminists. Something that has been meaningful to them is me saying – there is a place that men are working on it. There are men that are conscious. Men that are good. There are men that are accountable. Men that are examining their thoughts and words and actions.”
Damien:
“Being part of Men’s Circle gives men in the community the feeling of belonging and support.
“It helps take the guess-work out of being a man and leads to happier individuals that love and support their families, friends and colleagues. Men who are part of Men’s Circles are good role models to younger males as dads, coaches, teachers and mentors.
Lawson Mens Circle participant Damien (image supplied)
“It was recommended to me by a long-time mate, because I was feeling frustrated by my feelings towards my ex-wife, even though we had been apart for 6 years. I felt stuck in the way I felt and wanted to do some work on myself personally to shift my perspective and allow my new relationship to grow further.
“At circle I am encouraged to look at myself and my actions and to be accountable for them, which was not my normal behaviour. We cut through the superficial chit-chat that men engage in and talk about the things that really matter to us in a space where it feels safe to share. From these meetings, I see that other blokes have the same struggles, weaknesses and fears that I have. I have also come to realise that they too have the desire to have a positive influence on the relationships with their partners, children and friends. The fortnightly “check-ins” we have at the meetings give me time to stop and reflect and then redirect my life the way I want it to go. With the support of the other men in the circle, I regain control of my life.”
Dan believes that if men in every community had access to men’s circles, “the positive impact on communities and the planet would be incalculable.” If you would like to inquire about or join the Lawson Men’s Circle, please contact Dan on 0411 156 015.
Take Action:
To find out more about the Lawson Men’s Circle, please contact Dan on 0411 156 015
Did you know that the Peace Symbol, designed by Gerald Holtom in 1958, is based on flag semaphore signals? The vertical line represents the semaphore signal for "D" (for disarmament), and the downward lines represent "N" (for nuclear). Design and make your own Peace Badge at the Blue Mountains Peace Symposium and Peace Picnic on Saturday 2nd August at the Blue Mountains Planetary Health Centre (bookings here (link in profile: https://events.humanitix.com/blue-mountains-peace-symposium).
On another one of the badges below, the phrase "Hell no, we won`t go" is one which gained prominence in Australia during the Vietnam War, when conscription was introduced. Many young men refused to be conscripted, leading to protests, demonstrations, and the formation of anti-war movements. These movements, including the Moratorium campaigns, played a significant role in shaping public opinion and ultimately contributing to the end of Australia`s involvement in the war.
The Planetary Health Peace Symposium is bringing together veterans of the Peace Movement (including an organiser of the Moratorium campaign), Rotary and Quakers, Robert Tickner AO (ambassador for ICAN: the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons), Mayor Mark Greenhill, a signatory of Mayors for Peace, Susan Templeman MP, Indonesian Ambassador Dr Siswo Pramono on Indonesia’s ratification of the Nuclear Weapons Ban Treaty, as well as community members concerned about a world increasingly consumed by war. On the 80th anniversary of the bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, participate in a program of talks, film, stalls, music, art and a Community Peace Picnic as, together, we take urgent action for nuclear disarmament and peace.
It`s been 80 years since the horror of nuclear weapons was first unleashed with the US bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Find out how we can work together to stop this madness and grow a Movement for Peace at the Blue Mountains Peace Symposium on Saturday 2nd August. The day will include presentations by Robert Tickner AO, the Ambassador for the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons (ICAN); Mayor Mark Greenhill on Mayors for Peace; Susan Templeman MP; Dr Siswo Pramano: Indonesian Ambassador; veterans of the Peace Movement and young activists; Rowe Morrow OAM from Quakers; Jennifer Scott AM from Rotary International; journalist Harumi Hayakawa; and Dharug man Chris Tobin. It will also include a film screening, and a Community Peace Picnic with food, exhibition, stalls, badge and origami crane making and live music with the Bearded Ladies Community Choir. The Symposium has been organised by the Blue Mountains Peace Collective and the Blue Mountains Planetary Health Initiative. Please share to help us grow a movement and book your tickets at the link below (link in profile):
The Bushcare Seed Collectors are meeting today from 10am to 3pm at the Planetary Health Centre. It`s a great way to learn more about propagating native plants. Watch our video below and read more in Katoomba Area Local News: https://www.katoombalocalnews.com/bushcare-seed-collectors/...
The Bushcare Seed Collectors are meeting today from 10am to 3pm at the Planetary Health Centre. It`s a great way to learn more about propagating native plants. Read more in Katoomba Area Local News: https://www.katoombalocalnews.com/bushcare-seed-collectors/ (link in profile)
We are holding School Holiday workshops for young people on Thursday 17 July. In these fun workshops with Sherlie Mcmillan (known for her Fashion Upcycling and Women`s Shed workshops) young people will be introduced to woodwork and textile crafts with a great teacher! Accompanying adults welcome.
Book for the Weaving and Embroidery Workshop for 6-8 yr olds here (link in profile): https://events.humanitix.com/weaving-and-embroidery-workshop-for-6-8yr-olds
Book for the Workshop for 8-12 yr olds to Create a Pom Pom Launcher, Pom Poms and Headband here (link in profile): https://events.humanitix.com/create-a-pom-pom-launcher-pom-poms-and-headband
Our new Planetary Health Newsletter includes the Blue Mountains Peace Symposium, School Holiday Workshops, today`s Planetary Health Bushcare, a story about a Men`s Group in Lawson, a workshop on Designing Your Future Home, and information on how to prepare for Bushfire Season with Council`s chipping service. You can read it here: https://bit.ly/3TkWGRj (link in profile) #planetaryhealth #peace #peacesymposium #bluemountains #schoolholidayworkshops #hope #solutions #mensgroup #katoomba...
The Community Tree Planting Day for the Glossy Black Cockatoo is on this Saturday 5 July near Cowra! Learn more about how you can help grow connected landscapes to save the Glossy Black, including more about the Community Tree Planting Day, by fast forwarding to 48mins in our video "Falling in Love with Glossy Black Cockatoos" here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCERdF21Ud0&t=2075s
Register your interest to join everyone at the Tree Planting Day here:
Join us for this fabulous workshop: Designing Your Future Home on Saturday 19 July (10am-12 noon) Create a Healthy, Comfortable and Energy-Efficient Home
Join local Passive House Designer Karina Rafailov from Earthy Haus for a relaxed, interactive, and inspiring workshop. Whether you’re planning a new build or thinking about a renovation, this session will empower you with the knowledge to create a home that’s healthier for your family and kinder to the planet.
Places are strictly limited in this hands-on workshop so bookings essential here (link in profile): https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/workshop-designing-your-future-home-tickets-1417752157869
As an increasing number of people are being affected by winter viruses, we’re offering a free session of Tai Chi and Qigong on Saturday 5 July in the warmth of our beautiful Frogs of the Blue Mountains exhibition. Places are limited so book in early here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/40fnGW2 Learn more about these Chinese medicine movement practices in the video interview with Virginia Field on our YouTube channel (link in profile) and read about how Chinese medicine helped her overcome illness as a young woman in our story: Healing Body, Mind and Spirit with Tai Chi and Qigong here (link in profile): https://www.katoombalocalnews.com/tai-chi-and-qigong/
If you’re interested in learning how to propagate native plants and are keen to help our bush regenerate, the Bushcare Seed Collectors meet on the second Tuesday of the month. Check out how they cook Banksias to release their seed and learn more about the group, and native seed collecting, in Katoomba Area Local News here (link in profile): https://www.katoombalocalnews.com/bushcare-seed-collectors/
If you’d like to join the group, contact the Bushcare officer Tracy Abbas on 4780 5623 or email tabbas@bmcc.nsw.gov.au
Littlejohni, the Rare and Endangered Northern Heath Frog, photographed in Woodford!
When the Frogs of the Blue Mountains exhibition opened at the Planetary Health Centre in March it featured photos of 20 different local frogs. We were thrilled, however, when Andy Klotz and other members of the Hawkesbury Herpetological Society recently managed to photograph another frog in Woodford: the rarely seen and endangered Litoria littlejohni, also known as the Northern Heath Frog or Orange-bellied Tree Frog. We’ve added a photo of that frog to the exhibition and created a new Frogs of the Blue Mountains video in which you can listen to its call on our YouTube channel. We interviewed Andy to learn more about the Littlejohni and how they managed to find its small local population. You can read this story in Mid Mountains Local News (link in profile). #biodiversity #bluemountainsfrogs #northernheathfrog #litorialittlejohni #bluemountains #woodford #planetaryhealth #hawkesburyherpetologicalsociety...
Our newsletter is now out! Read about how you can contribute to @bluemountainscitycouncil`s Biodiversity Conservation Strategy; watch our video on Falling in Love with Glossy Black Cockatoos; see the new photos of the rare Northern Heath Frog; watch how the Bushcare Seed Collectors cook banksias to release their seeds; learn more about Tai Chi and Qigong, the Chinese medicine movement practices; and take part in our next workshop on Designing Your Future Home with Passive House Designer Karina Rafailov from @earthy_haus
Read it here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/40e4GHr
Our native wildlife is in crisis. With dwindling tree hollows, which are essential homes for countless species, the Blue Mountains' unique ecosystem is under threat. Discover how you can make a real difference. Learn about practical solutions, community initiatives, and the upcoming event dedicated to restoring vital habitats.
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