Some regular attendees at the Lawson men’s group: Dan, Lee, Kris, Huw and Damien.
Story and photos by Belle Butler
When Dan Gaffney found out he was having a son, it prompted action to break a cycle of inter-generational disconnection. What began as a personal commitment to self-work has since grown into a powerful communal practice helping men become more emotionally literate, accountable, conscious and connected.
Key Points:
The Lawson men’s circle fills a void where once male initiation and elder-mentorship might have been, helping men with self awareness and self growth.
At the Lawson men’s circle, men develop their emotional literacy and accountability, helping them become more conscious and responsible in their relationships and in their community.
Caring for others begins with caring for oneself. The hard inner work done by participants at the Lawson men’s circle has positive ripple effects in all areas of their lives.
At 9:15 on a Thursday night in Lawson, a men’s circle wraps up after two and a half hours of talking and listening. The room carries a sense of healthy exhaustion – almost as if these men have just completed a good day’s work in the garden or a challenging bush walk. Some men appear spent, but in a relaxed, relieved way. There is also a quiet closeness among them, the kind that comes from shared effort.
It’s not surprising. The mind and body respond to mental/emotional and physical hard work in similar ways – reducing the stress hormone cortisol and boosting dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin – promoting stress recovery and physiological well-being.
However, the positive effects of the men’s circle extend far beyond these brain boosting benefits – as Dan Gaffney, who runs the group, and its members know firsthand. “At a local level, it’s about teaching men to become more emotionally-literate and available,” says Dan. “Men who are safer because they are more accountable for their words and actions, so that they can become more conscious in all areas of their lives.”
Dan has facilitated men’s circles for twenty years and has hosted the Lawson men’s circle in his living room for the past five. His involvement in this space began with a personal commitment to self-work and a desire to break the cycle of “inter-generational unfinished business” upon the arrival of his son. After attending a father’s group, he participated in a men’s rite-of passage-weekend run by The ManKind Project, eventually training with them to host regular men’s circles himself.
His ongoing work in this area blends his background in psychotherapy and his longstanding interest in positive change. “My mission is to nourish myself so that I can better nourish the land and people in my community,” says Dan.
Dan Gaffney, host of the Lawson men’s circle.
Dan sees the core need for men’s circles as rooted in the absence of male initiation in our culture and the ripple effects this has had on male individuals and whole communities. “Boys start to become ungovernable at a certain age. This is why initiation exists – to teach them responsibilities and privileges of being young men,” he says.
“We have lost that in our culture. You can see it in the headlines; you can see it in the health stats – men disrespecting women and men disrespecting themselves. We need to be socialised by our fathers, uncles, grandfathers, our elders, but today, regrettably, our uncles and elders are missing in action.”
In the absence of initiation, the Lawson men’s circle offers a “safe place to have safe emergencies”. Each men’s circle comprises of four rounds of focused talking and listening, providing a structured framework for emotional check-ins, ownership of words and actions (accountability), deeper self-reflection, and finally, honouring and recognition of each other’s contribution.
At the end of each gathering, Dan sees a group of men with “more bandwidth to deal with the difficulties of life – safer partners, safer fathers, safer colleagues and safer friends.”
Lawson men’s circle meets weekly on a Thursday night. Image supplied.
Two participants of the Lawson men’s circle speak to the personal and far-reaching impact it has had on them:
Kris:
“Circle offers a real shortcut to meaningful connection.
“I think there’s a real crisis in connection generally in our culture, particularly with men. It’s hard to find a framework where you can have profound connection with people without having to spend ten years getting there. But at circle there’s deep and meaningful connection with good men on offer once a week.
Lawson Mens Circle participant Kris (image supplied)
“Broadly, I see it as a real antidote to a lot of social dysfunctions. Issues like substance abuse, domestic violence, and suicidal inclination struggle to hold their grip when this kind of thing is available. It’s a real way for men to be better in every domain.
“Personally, as a single parent, it can be hard to find a place where I can safely be held accountable for the decisions and agreements I make in my life. Living alone, I don’t really have many checks and balances. At circle, I can look at my own congruence – whether my thoughts and deeds are aligned – and safely address personal issues. It’s my primary mechanism of self-awareness and a commitment to living well.
“The structure that we use enables us to do this in a safe, meaningful, productive and connected way. We can talk about our shortcomings without fear of judgement, exposure or weaponisation. Having that space to do those things – this is self-awareness and personal growth on steroids.
“And it’s demanding. It requires me to live a certain way, or I’d be turning up and lying every week. Coming in and not telling the truth is not just pointless but also disrespectful. So, turning up every week requires accountability.
“The spin-off is far reaching. The women in my world are staunch, card-carrying feminists. Something that has been meaningful to them is me saying – there is a place that men are working on it. There are men that are conscious. Men that are good. There are men that are accountable. Men that are examining their thoughts and words and actions.”
Damien:
“Being part of Men’s Circle gives men in the community the feeling of belonging and support.
“It helps take the guess-work out of being a man and leads to happier individuals that love and support their families, friends and colleagues. Men who are part of Men’s Circles are good role models to younger males as dads, coaches, teachers and mentors.
Lawson Mens Circle participant Damien (image supplied)
“It was recommended to me by a long-time mate, because I was feeling frustrated by my feelings towards my ex-wife, even though we had been apart for 6 years. I felt stuck in the way I felt and wanted to do some work on myself personally to shift my perspective and allow my new relationship to grow further.
“At circle I am encouraged to look at myself and my actions and to be accountable for them, which was not my normal behaviour. We cut through the superficial chit-chat that men engage in and talk about the things that really matter to us in a space where it feels safe to share. From these meetings, I see that other blokes have the same struggles, weaknesses and fears that I have. I have also come to realise that they too have the desire to have a positive influence on the relationships with their partners, children and friends. The fortnightly “check-ins” we have at the meetings give me time to stop and reflect and then redirect my life the way I want it to go. With the support of the other men in the circle, I regain control of my life.”
Dan believes that if men in every community had access to men’s circles, “the positive impact on communities and the planet would be incalculable.” If you would like to inquire about or join the Lawson Men’s Circle, please contact Dan on 0411 156 015.
Take Action:
To find out more about the Lawson Men’s Circle, please contact Dan on 0411 156 015
Join the Planetary Health Centre this Sat 6 Dec for the last Skill Share Saturday of the year: Qigong at 9am, Seed Saving & Gardening Group at 10am, and Bushcare at 1.30pm. One perfect day with great company, great coffee and food, and great steps for living a healthy balanced life, while also contributing to the health of our planet for present and future generations. All ages welcome!
Registration links in profile and below.
Register for Qigong here: https://bit.ly/48wlHjD Register for Seed Saving & Gardening here: https://bit.ly/4prcRe7 Register for Bushcare here: https://bit.ly/4oAFDrz
We have a rare opportunity to learn about the newest and best possible ways to support family and community members struggling with mental health issues, at a free talk and afternoon tea provided by Upper Blue Mountains Sunrise Rotary at the Planetary Health Centre at 2pm this Saturday 29 Nov. Hear from Peter Joseph AM, Chair of the Black Dog Institute, and Professor Helen Christensen AO, Fellow of the Australian Academy of Science and former Executive Director and Chief Scientist at the Black Dog Institute. They`ll be in conversation with journalist Emma Rossi. Dr Christensen is a pioneer in using the internet to reach young people struggling with depression. Her digital mental health interventions are used by millions globally, delivering evidence-based therapy for depression, anxiety, and suicide prevention. Her research uses data from smartphones and wearables – like movement, screen use, and sleep – to detect early signs of mental health issues. Bookings essential here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4oOnYxz
This Saturday Sherlie McMillan from Rotarians 4 Planetary Health will be running a workshop on How to use a sewing machine from 9am at the Planetary Health Centre in Katoomba. Learn how to set up a machine, service it, troubleshoot when it`s not sewing correctly, and learn some basic sewing skills.
Bookings essential here (link in profile): https://events.humanitix.com/how-to-use-your-sewing-machine
NB. This class is a prerequisite for our very popular Fashion Upcycling classes held once a month.
We`re thrilled to announce that Professor Helen Christensen, a pioneer in using the internet to reach young people struggling with depression, will be joining the conversation with Peter Joseph AM from the Black Dog Institute and journalist Emma Rossi at the Planetary Health Centre at 2pm this Saturday 29 November. Helen was the Executive Director and Chief Scientist for the Black Dog Institute for 10 years and has now been elected a Fellow of the Australian Academy of Science. Her digital mental health interventions are used by millions globally, delivering evidence-based therapy for depression, anxiety, and suicide prevention. Her research uses data from smartphones and wearables – like movement, screen use, and sleep – to detect early signs of mental health issues. This free event is being co-hosted by Upper Blue Mountains Sunrise Rotary and the Blue Mountains Planetary Health Initiative. Afternoon tea will be provided. Bookings essential here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4oOnYxz
Human composting is increasingly being legalised around the world. Read about it in Katoomba Area Local News here (link in profile): https://www.katoombalocalnews.com/legalising-human-composting/
If you’d like to see this option available in NSW you can now sign a live petition to the NSW Parliament here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/43QIHbz
Thanks to everyone who contributed to deliver a fantastic Disaster Risk Awareness Expo and Family Day yesterday. @mark_greenhill_mayor opened the event at which we celebrated the 13th birthday of Betty the Asbestos Education House; @firecoat_au demonstrated and launched its range of fire retardant products that can help protect homes, gardens and even electricity poles; the Bushfire Retrofit Toolkit was launched; Santa arrived and delighted young and old; and @plantinspired99 and Action for Animals fed us all with a delicious plant-based sausage sizzle. The day was filled with talks, workshops, stalls and the sharing of a huge amount of expertise to keep us, and the other species we share our planet with, safe and healthy! @southkatoomba.rfb @nswses @fireandrescuensw @nswrfs @redcrossleura @redcrossau @shelter.building.design @firehalo.au @asbestosawareness @amelie_ecology @bbagsbluemtns @wireswildliferescue @handsheartfeet
Our marquee is up and we`re excited about our Expo and Family Day tomorrow (Sat 22 Nov). There`s something for everyone from a free sausage sizzle, plants from Santa and drumming and pollinator workshops, to sessions on keeping you and our community safe from extreme weather events and hazardous substances like mould and asbestos. Learn how intumescent paints can slow the spread of fire and pick up a sample pot; check out all our emergency service organisations; learn how to dispose of hazardous materials; paint a native orchid, make some seed balls or sew a boomerang bag to give as plastic-free Christmas presents this year; enjoy coffee and locally made sweets; and get tips on how to retrofit your home safely and beautifully to be prepared for future extreme weather events. View the full program and register here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4nFrY1J
There are so many new and innovative ways of doing things, like the new cooking techniques being explored by Michael from Good Fat Pastry, and the new fire protection methods being launched at the Planetary Health Centre`s Expo and Family Day on Sat 22 Nov. Check out Michael’s recent presentation at the Food Security Fair in our video here: https://bit.ly/4pnXbIg (link in profile) and come along to taste his delicious carrot cake and pastries at the Expo on Saturday. Check out the program and register to attend here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4nFrY1J
In 2006 Peter Joseph’s son Michael suicided after a 14-year episodic battle with mental illness. Peter is now the Chair of the Black Dog Institute which is working to achieve better outcomes for all those struggling with mental health issues. Journalist Emma Rossi will engage Peter in an intimate and moving conversation about a life of purpose and mental health advocacy. As a Rotary scholar Peter will also reflect on how Rotary helped shape his values and sense of purpose as a young man - and how those early lessons continue to guide his work today. This free event is being hosted by the Upper Blue Mountains Sunrise Rotary Club and the Blue Mountains Planetary Health Initiative on Saturday 29 November from 2-4pm at the Planetary Health Centre at 33-39 Acacia St Katoomba. Afternoon tea will be provided. Bookings essential here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4oOnYxz
Learn about intumescent fire retardant paint and a range of other strategies to prepare for extreme weather events, and to manage hazardous materials, at the upcoming Expo and Family Day at the Planetary Health Centre on Sat 22 Nov. You can register to attend here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4nFrY1J We checked out how intumescent paint works in this video.
When temperatures reach a certain point the intumescent paint begins to swell and expand, often up to 50 times its original thickness. It forms a thick, carbonaceous "char" that acts as an insulating barrier. This layer slows the rate at which heat reaches the structural elements and buys valuable time for people to safely exit a building during a fire. It makes the structure safer for firefighters and rescue teams. #intumescentpaint #fireretardant #bushfire @firecoat_au...
Mould, lead paint, asbestos, silica dust from engineered stone bench tops and a wide range of chemicals, are amongst some of the many hazardous substances entering our environment and negatively impacting our health. Asbestos is found in over 3000 products including textured paints, moulded garden pots, brake pads and clutch linings in older cars, floor and ceiling tiles, lino, fibro, roofing, pipes and gutters, hot water systems, backing for switchboards and insulation boards in air-conditioning ducts, insulation, sealants, fillers, caulking and adhesives, gaskets for industrial and lab equipment and more. We’ll have information to take away and Blue Mountains City Council and the Asbestos and Hazardous Materials Consultants Association (AHCA) will be running free workshops on how to identify and manage these hazardous substances at the Planetary Health Centre`s Disaster Risk Awareness Expo in Katoomba on Sat 22 Nov. Find out more and register to attend here (link in profile): https://bit.ly/4nFrY1J
Are you ready for the next bushfire, heatwave or flood? Why not take steps to prepare at the Planetary Health Centre`s Expo and Family Day on Sat 22 Nov. Award-winning Hempcrete designer Kirstie Wulf from @shelter.building.design will share 10 steps to build or renovate for sustainability and resilience; engineer Mark Liebman will share how you can build a green roof to reduce stormwater runoff and cool your building; Dr Agnieszka Wujeska-Klause will share research results on the most appropriate actions to lower heat in summer and help you use a thermal imaging camera to identify which surfaces retain the most heat; Frank Inzitari will introduce you to the @firehalo.au which can help reduce ember attack; and a team from the University of Technology Sydney (UTS) will work with you to use the Bushfire Retrofit Toolkit to design your own personal bushfire plan. We`ll also be launching Firecoat`s new Bushfire Home Protection Kit. Learn more and register to attend here: https://bit.ly/4nFrY1J
The concept of planetary health is rapidly gaining attention globally, as the world increasingly confronts the interconnected challenges of environmental degradation, climate change, and public health crises. But what does the term 'planetary health' really mean, and why does it matter?
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